Apr 16, 13
April 12, 2013
There was no pomp and circumstance. There was simple love. There was chance, but little doubt. No matter what the future brings, I love my husband deeply. He has changed my life by leaps and bounds and I will cherish every moment that we grow together. At 48, this is new to me, but I recognized it when I met him in 2011. When we disagree we always grow through understanding and listening. This is new. I am ready for this all-encompassing love.
The ceremony was performed by a JP on the front porch of the tiny log cabin. I wore a blue $14 dress from Goodwill and colorful shoes to match. I put a few flowers in my hair, hiding some gray. Charlie and I had picked his ring from a pawn shop. An $18 dollar ring that looked liked it had been worn for fifty years and cut off the hand of a dead but dedicated husband, as it has been cut through and worn. My ring is silver and rhodium plated. Nothing expensive but stunning. It is not filled with fake diamonds, but instead white topaz, my birthstone. The photography/film department instructor from my son’s school brought a student. They took still and moving clips. I heard music as I walked to the front porch. I heard guitar, which turned out to be the fabulous andrew Hardin. And we are married.
Apr 10, 13
The Import has me in a bit of a tizzy because he has me right where he wants me – impatient. He has promises of a wedding but won’t give me any details. He says to just show up.
Considering we are still working on the letter “V” I imagine the tiny ceremony with the JP might go a bit like this:
Charlie to Me: “I, the Wiking, wow wit aw my heart to wuw you forewer.”
Me: “What do you mean by “forewer? Just curious.”
Cross ‘em. Always a bride, never a bridesmaid. We’ll see if The Import makes good on his wow.
Here’s a picture of Charlie circa 1986. Hot stuff!
Apr 08, 13
This evening, as I drove home from work to the cabin in Wimberley, I got my first real chance to pay it forward. The irony doesn’t get past me that just last night I used the last bit of a gift card to purchase things for the cabin, including a few groceries (okay, and Lone Star and wine – it was a wretched weekend). But it’s time to move forward. Stand on my own feet, as long as I’ve got solid ground beneath them. Even if I don’t. It’s time to carry the past with me, as each of us are required to do in life, and meld it with the future.
I had the radio on, listening to KUTX with Jody at the helm. It’s pledge drive time and he had an on-air guest, Liz Lambert, to help reach out to the community for pledges. Liz has always been very kind to me, kind to my friends, kind to music, kind to Austin and Jo’s has a special place in my heart for several reasons. The staff at Jo’s was also very helpful to me after the fire. I knew I had to say thank you to her and Jo’s for their help.
I pulled over and checked the balance in my bank account, calculated the days til payday, hedged my bets on no sick days off from work and called to make a pittance of a donation. I actually felt relieved. It was nice to give instead of get. Right after I donated, I pulled back into Ranch Road 12. a few moments later Jody played “God Bless the Child” by Billie Holiday.
I will never be rich, but I will never be poor with friends. If I speak of low money it’s not a veiled request for some. Going without is just a long-running theme in my life and I’ve tried to make up for it in the past by strolling the aisles of Goodwill and finding a treasure for $2.99. I have to curb even that and channel my anxieties into song. Time to get back out there. Time to make a record in this cabin while it’s still got a nice, half-empty echo to it. It’s not money that determines whether you are rich or poor. We’re all in the same boat and the boat has holes so we just have to take turns plugging the holes.
Today I moved forward by paying it forward. It felt good. Not much, but maybe I paid for one good song to be played. Hopefully, it will be one that each of you hear and is meant for you.
God bless the child.